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How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship With Your Man


When your guy does or says something totally rude, offensive, or inconsiderate, how do you respond? Do you immediately assume that he said or did those things to hurt you, or do you give him the benefit of the doubt? The truth is, most fights happen because one partner jumps to conclusions about the other partner’s intentions. So if you want to learn how to stop fighting with your man, you’re going to have to train yourself to always see him in his most positive light.  My relationship advice for women who want to stop fighting in a relationship is to follow these three steps outlined below.

Step #1: Remember that he always has your best interests at heart.

The first step to stop the fighting in your relationship is to remember that your man probably isn’t trying to be insensitive or hurtful, he just made a mistake and said or did the wrong thing.  If your guy loves you (which I’m sure he does!), always assume that he has your best interests at heart, and would never try to hurt you on purpose.

Step #2: Stop criticizing other people.

What we do out in the world often finds its way back to our relationship, so it’s important to be aware of how you interact with others. For example, if you’re hyper critical of your friends and coworkers, you may instinctively perceive your partner of criticizing you in the same way. To stop this cycle, switch your perspective and make a conscious effort to stop judging other people. Once you start giving others the benefit of the doubt, you’ll be less likely to immediately assume that your man is always judging you.

Step #3: Don’t look at him as the enemy.

If you need to talk to your man about a problem in your relationship, approach him with the assumption that he is on your side, and wants to work on the relationship as much as you do. He’ll sense that you trust him to be agreeable during the conversation, and he’ll respond accordingly. However – if you approach him with the belief that you’re going to have to convince him to do things your way, or if you assume he’s going to fight with you, he’ll sense that and automatically put his defenses up.

The bottom line is, as women we have the power to stop the fighting in our relationships, and that begins with seeing your man in his most positive light, and always assuming that he is on your side.

All my best,
Heather Baker

p.s. Do you recognize your problem relationship in these 10 relationship fizzles?

About the Author

Heather BakerHeather Baker is a Relationship Coach, certified from the prestigious, world-class Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). She specializes in saving relationships from a break up or divorce. In addition to being a relationship coach, Heather’s a devout student and teacher of yogic and Buddhist philosophy. Heather lives in San Francisco, California with her fiancée and their two rescue pups, Miso and Minka.View all posts by Heather Baker →

1 Comment

  1. Fix Your Relationship: How To Put The Spark Back In
    Fix Your Relationship: How To Put The Spark Back In02-10-2014

    […] feels flat and they’re living more like roommates than lovers. Luckily, there’s an easy relationship fix to put the spark back in your relationship and that is mastering the art of seeing your man through […]

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